Family Time - Quality if not Quantity

It seems that immediate families are getting smaller and smaller. We live in an age of two income families which unfortunately cuts down tremendously on "family time" which makes the time you do have with your family so much more important.

It has been difficult at times financially speaking but we have been blessed with the opportunity for my wife to work from home on a part-time basis meaning we have been able to keep our kids home with her. On the other hand I spend a lot of time in my office away from home so every moment I get with my family I really do cherish.

Everyone's, from all walks of life, most valuable asset is time. Why? Because it's the one thing all of us are truly limited by. Everything else comes and goes, including money and everything it buys, but once a minute of any day goes by it's gone forever.

Take just a minute and think about if you could spend the next hour doing absolutely anything YOU wanted to do what would it be? Maybe you'd like to take your Mom to lunch, or how about a ball game with Dad or a dear friend. If you're a parent I bet many might answer spend it with their children.

Now, once you have that perfect hour in your head and thinking about the time you're having doing whatever with whomever, how much money is that hour worth to you? In other words, if I came up to you and offered you say $20 for you to spend that same hour doing exactly what I wanted you to do instead, would you do it? How about $50, $100 or even $1,000?

Out of necessity you might take me up on it which we all do to earn a living. But are we really getting what that hour is worth or are we just selling off our most valuable asset called "time" to the highest bidder? Can we really put a dollar amount on that hour or is it "priceless."

We all have to earn a living and we all do what we can to make our family's lives the best they can be which requires money realistically. I know that I have to work on making the time I do have with my wife and children the most it can be. Here's a few ideas on how to do this...

• Be home for dinner every evening possible.
• Turn off the TV and learn what kind of day everyone had and why.
• Learn about each other's interests even if you don't share the same enthusiasm.
• Create a routine activity like an evening walk to stay in touch.
• Don't focus on the negative and point conversations to the positive.
• Play a game once a week with your family particularly a question/answer game.
• Always tell those closest to you how much they mean to you.
• Teach by example and let your children be involved with their own solutions.
• Always let your family know that you are their side and always will be.
• Schedule some time with your family when you're not so tired from working.

These are just a few things that I know have helped us....when I make it a point to follow them. I am far from perfect myself and need to work on the above. I am sure you have ideas of your own as well. But the point is that if like most, you can't spend the quantity of time you wish you could with those that mean the most, just make that time you do have the most rewarding it can be. Your investment of your own quality time now will pay off more times than you can imagine in the future.

Friendships...a really big deal!

By trade I am an interpreneur (internet entrepreneur). What's this? My favorite online project is ImaginaryGreetings.com which concentrates on keeping our children's belief and imaginations flowing by supplying credible proof and correspondence from important childhood role models that too many adults stopped believing in a long time ago :)

Right now I am putting the finishing touches on a new service called Letters from Cupid. Cupid to children, of course, is all about building friendships and the importance of doing so. So, as I always do on such projects I consulted with my kids on the subject which has provoked several important thoughts one of which for today's post.

We try to teach our kids to be nice to everyone and to try to look at things from all perspectives before either passing judgement or reacting (from a friend's shoes). At least in the case of one of my kids this has seemed to have caused him to almost be "overly" concerned for others feelings...if that's even possible.

He has met his first true bully (we will omit names to avoid name calling). I know this person is a bully because all of my son's friends frequently discuss this and I even have one teacher's confirmation. However, the mentality of this bully has really weighed heavy on my son's mind over the past several months now.

I must say I am quite proud of the fact that my son refuses to simply label him as such and ignore him completely. I suppose it's possible this is what created the bully in the first place as he does whatever necessary for attention. But my son, who normally always gets along with everyone with a smile on his face has obviously been troubled for some time now.

You see, all this time my son has been trying to be this person's friend which continues to back fire on him which hurts his feelings to the point it may even be changing his personality a little and how he views friendships altogether. I know this from a conversation I had with him about his friends from which I am still tasting some leather after pulling my foot out of my mouth. (This happens a lot!)

I tried to explain to him the importance of choosing your friends wisely and that some people (most people) you meet just are not compatible. Then he responded..."but Dad, how can I help him (the bully) understand what he is doing if I don't try to be his friend?" GULP!

I have heard that this next generation will change the world...maybe this is how? It is my responsibility to look out for MY children and their feelings first right? But the question here is who is teaching who?

Teaching our children to share...or not?

Being blessed with twin boys sharing is an often visited topic of discussion. But here's the thing. After a rather lengthy discussion with the older twin (by 20 minutes) Zachary he made the comment "but Dad, my friends at school don't do that?"

Well of course my immediate response was something about treating others as you would want to be treated and two wrongs don't make a right. But after some thought I wonder if teaching our children to share is the right course.

I realize that we all would want to live in a world were sharing with those around us is common and even done without much thought. But let's face it...we just don't. So by enforcing these rules upon our children without question aren't we putting them in an unfair, unjust situation one of which they can only be taken advantage?

If there were a master switch that would immediately make everyone begin this selfless act of sharing all simoultaneously this wouldn't even be a discussion. But is it your child's responsibility to help get us there?

Growing up as the youngest of 14 I got a lot of second-hand stuff but when something was yours you held on tight. I do remember once when an older sibling would not let me play with his chemistry set after I eagerly shared my erector set. I will always remember my Dad apologizing to me telling me he was deeply sorry thinking that at some point he must have given me the impression that this life we live in is always fair and by thinking that I was at a disadvantage.

Maybe teaching our children to share is to some degree worth pursuing but with an ongoing explanation of what the possible gray areas may be...and the confusion of becoming an adult begins.

Welcome to Family Ties!

Hello and welcome...

How we affect the lives of those around us is a reflection at which we all could stand to look a little more often. By no means is this limited to those we care about the most although it's most often that with those who are closest our comments and actions carry the most weight.

Regardless of who you are there is someone who looks up to you. Parents, for example, often overlook the importance of their comments, habits, beliefs and actions as they relate to a child's interpretations. A child while making new friends will mimic the same in their reactions which will dictate the groups in which they are accepted.

The importance of the ties that bind us becomes more clear as we grow. Someday, looking back at our regrets the strength of our relationships are never strong enough and it's those who we've touched and have touched us that will mean everything.

I wish someone had all the answers as to how our families and close friends can grow closer realizing the difference this makes. The secret to not living alone is not about looking for a friend but about being one and teaching by example always goes much further than words alone.

I hope through familyties.com I can learn and be inspired from the experiences and knowledge of those who visit. Who knows.... maybe, just maybe, you will be too.

Thank you for visiting!